. me and the devil

[simba stoltz]

---_{where do you want to live? anywhere in the us.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{seriously, sylvia.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{shit, fuck, fine. lets move to california and you can bond with my mother and shit. you know, at least until the baby is born and gets a few months old.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{it's a better environment for our kid.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{can we just... look, i'll hire movers and packers. are there such things? well, i'll find them so they can pack everything up and send it off to my parents while i find us a couple houses to look at. this is really great.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{yeah... fine.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{i love you too! no problem, it'll be great. i'm going to bring home tons of little einstein stuff so s/he can start listening to it now.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{you need to cleanse your mind too. he'll be raised on little einsteins and nickelodeon.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{sorry bro, you have no say in this babies influence!}

[simba stoltz]

---_{not the 95% that matters, though! i mean, if it's a boy, it's obviously going to need some male influence.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{so many baby tapes. i might also put nanny cams in every single room to make sure you don't turn him into a satanist.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{thats completely evil!}

[simba stoltz]

---_{yeah, but so are you and i still love you.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{where are you? because if you're doing anything strenuous i'm going to kill you.}

[simba stoltz]

---_{i hope you realize how un-funny that is.}