. it's just tonight

[kaliann]

^G

[/i][/color]abriel Burke was dirty. But not in the pornography way, although some girls wished his was. Gabriel Burke had not showered for two days. He hasn't left his apartment since he had gone to Sohvi's doctor appointment, where it was confirmed that she was pregnant. He could hardly look her in the eye the entire time. When the doctor asked if he was the father, he couldn't even open his mouth to answer, and the doctor, sensing his mistake moved on quickly and asked Sohvi and series of questions. But the doctor wasn't mistaken. Gabe hadn't meant to hook up with Sohvi the night of the party, she was just so drunk when he had come to find her to take her home. He'd successfully gotten her into a cab and made it back to his apartment and as soon as he had closed the door, she started taking off her clothes. He'd be a liar if he said that it wasn't what he had always wanted. All the nights she had slept in his bed, pressed against him, wearing his clothes, had been little slices of heaven, but they were nothing compared to what happened that night. And then in the morning when he reached out for her, there was nothing in his bed but air. What had he done. The thought tortured him for days, he and Sohvi had never gone so long without talking. She was drunk, did she even know what she had been doing, did she even remember? Had he raped her? After a week of not speaking Gabe had almost driven himself crazy. Then the flood gates had opened. Sohvi was pregnant, and he'd been a coward, he hadn't told her about their night together. So obviously she assumed that it was Rex's. How was he supposed to tell her now. He'd have to. Eventually. It was Sunday evening when he woke from a pot induced stupor and grabbed his discarded laptop from his bed side table. He clicked her name quickly, waiting as the laptop emitted the shrill ringing sound. Her face popped up on the screen, looking sleepy but beautiful and fragile ”Hey beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely, suddenly painfully aware dirty t shirt, dirty hair, and beard that desperately needed to be trimmed.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] sohvi
wardrobe,[/i][/size] does it matter what he's wearing when he looks like that
music,[/i][/size] knocked up, obv.
notes,[/i][/size]rae's format & melissa's graphics. ily [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[sohvi holt]

^S

[/i][/color]he continuously played the doctor's appointment over and over in her mind. She had squeezed Gabriel's hand so tight she could have sworn that she cut off his circulation at times. She could hardly control her nerves that day or her tears for that matter. She would open her mouth to answer the questions that the doctor would ask but every time nothing seemed to leave her lips. The cool sticky liquid felt so strange against her stomach and soon enough a fuzzy image popped onto the screen. "... and here is your baby Ms. Holt."[/i] the doctor said calmly as if he had just served her meal. The baby was nothing but a dot at the time but to know that it was there in her stomach growing everyday seemed to completely baffle her and leave her speechless. "M-My b-baby." the words slipped from her lips effortlessly and for the first time she had finally managed to say them. She hardly made it out of her apartment these days finding her sadness a bit more appealing then the fresh air. She had been reading dozens of articles on the internet about parenting - tackling this the only way she knew how. She researched her options unsure of what she was going to do. In the beginning she was sure that she would keep the child but now it seemed she wasn't quite sure. This was complicated enough just considering her future but she was not the only one involved there was also Rex and the child itself. She wanted so badly to go back to the old days where she would sit around at Gabriel's apartment for days playing video games without a care in the world. Those days seemed so far away now as if it had all been a dream. Her attention was drawn back to the computer as she heard the familiar ring of her Skype. She clicked the answer button and soon saw the scruffy and familiar face of Gabriel. She managed to give a small smile as she looked at the screen, "Hey."[/i] her voice sounded so hollow as she looked at her own image which seemed fragile and pale. "I've missed you, Gabe."[/i] she said before running her hand through her brown locks. "How have you been?"[/i]

[/color][/font][/i][/size] gabe's old t-shirt
music,[/i][/size] delicate - damien rice
notes,[/i][/size]ilyilyily and them / jacked rae's format. [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kaliann]

^W

[/i][/color]hen the doctor had shown the image of the baby up on the sonogram, Gabriel thought he was going to be sick. He’d never had such a strong urge to run out of the room screaming, but he had stood there, holding Sohvi’s hand and tried to keep his semi smile from collapsing. And after the appointment he had gone to Central Park and gotten high, he didn’t care if anyone saw. They could arrest him for all he cared, smoking pot was the most insignificant crime he had committed at this point. Then he went home and he started thinking of baby names. Gabriel Jr., no that sounded too pretentious. He’d always liked Arthur or maybe Hendrix, I kid named Hendrix was sure to be cool. His mind had drifted on and on and on for what was literally two days. He would daydream about what the baby would look like, would it have his nose and Sohvi’s eyes, would its hair be golden brown like his or dark brown like Sohvi’s. His mind got lost in the endless possibilities , endless daydreams of Sohvi holding the baby. He had smoked so much pot that he was surprised his neighbors hadn’t called the cops, and now he felt like his head was being held underwater as he looked at Sohvi , and suddenly his brain was completely empty. What had he called to tell her ? ”I’m…..” his thoughts trailed off. ”I’m extremely smelly,” he finished, catching a wif of himself. He hopped off of where he was laying on his bed and stripped off the t shirt he was wearing, and changing in to what smelled like a slightly cleaner one. He laid down back in front of his laptop, where it rested on top of his pillows. ”I’m sorry about the doctor’s appointment. I shouldn’t have gotten high before I came. I felt like I didn’t pay attention to you,” he said, avoiding her eye contact on the screen, picking instead at a loose thread on his quilt.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] sohvi
wardrobe,[/i][/size] does it matter what he's wearing when he looks like that
music,[/i][/size] knocked up, obv.
notes,[/i][/size]rae's format & melissa's graphics. ily [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[sohvi holt]

^S

[/i][/color]he couldn't help but let out a small laugh for the first time in what seemed like weeks. "Falling apart without me?"[/i] she asked with a bit of a small smile. "You do know that I can't smell you, right?"[/i] she said in regards to him changing his t-shirt. She was too amused at his actions seemingly believing that a change of wardrobe would do the job. She knew she wasn't in the best condition herself looking down at the t-shirt which adorned her small frame. "I've got this t-shirt if you were wondering where it ran off to."[/i] she said holding it up to the camera so that he was able to sit it a bit clearer. She could pretend that everything was normal until the doctor's appointment was brought up. She took in a deep breathe as she shook her head, "Its fine."[/i] her voice so soft and fragile every time the topic was brought up. "I mean, I'm just glad you came, I can't thank you enough for that Gabe."[/i] she clearly remembered how uncomfortable the entire appointment had been for him especially when the doctor asked if Gabriel was the father. She had played out the many different scenarios in her head switching up the father's to see if there would be different outcomes. Her thoughts continued to fall back on the weird dreams she had about him. She always had a bit of a crush on him but never thought much of it. Gabriel was beyond gorgeous and Sohvi was just his geeky childhood friend who happened to stick around. The images of the two of them together felt so real that she had to constantly remind herself it didn't happen. "I started researching my options."[/i] she said calmly as if she were referring to a thesis. She had looked at every possible article she could find on the internet. She simply sat there for hours on end just reading. "Rex and I are going to talk about all of it soon."[/i] she said before biting down at her lip trying to pretend that everything with Rex had gone smoothly when in fact it went terribly. "... I might be doing this alone. So, I might just put the kid up for adoption."[/i] she said calmly before a tear rolled down her cheek. "... but I mean its probably for the best - right?"[/i] she asked before the tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Fuck."[/i] she said before grabbing the box of tissues. "I can never stop fucking crying."[/i]

[/color][/font][/i][/size] gabe's old t-shirt
music,[/i][/size] skinny love - bon iver
notes,[/i][/size]this is sad[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kaliann]

^G

[/i][/color]abe couldn’t help but smile back when she smiled at him, god it made his heart beat fast. ”I know that you can’t smell me but I can smell me and it is not exactly like roses,”. When she showed him the shirt that she was wearing, one of his favorites, he choked back a cough, it was the shirt and he had been wearing the night they hooked up, she must have grabbed it off the floor when she left. Gabriel took a deep breath, knowing that it shouldn’t make him feel like this. After he brought up the doctor’s appointment, he knew that he had said something wrong, her smile dropped and she didn’t look at him. And Gabe hated it, he hated that she was feeling this way, and it was all his fault. He never ever wanted to see her like this. That’s why he had beat up a guy who called her a freak when they were in high school, and why he always convinced her to stay in his apartment with him, because if she was with him, she wouldn’t be getting hurt. But he had hurt her more than anyone, he would be her greatest disappointment. His throat tightened when she mentioned Rex. Gabe didn’t like the guy one bit, of course, he didn’t like any boys who got too interested in her but the week they had started “dating” he had just been in the mood where he was so sick of being stepped on and he didn’t convince her not to waste her time on him, and he regretted it immediately. The word adoption didn’t seem to register with him for a minute and he pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, as he tried to suppress his own tears. And he knew he couldn’t stand to do this to her, he couldn’t stand being the cause of making her cry. ”I lied, Sohvi. he whispered, his eyes still covered. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried in front of anyone. ”I lied about everything. I’m so sorry, Sohvi. I can’t believe I did this to you,”

[/color][/font][/i][/size] sohvi
wardrobe,[/i][/size] does it matter what he's wearing when he looks like that
music,[/i][/size] knocked up, obv.
notes,[/i][/size]rae's format & melissa's graphics. ily [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[sohvi holt]

^S

[/i][/color]he remembered all of the nights they spent together when they were growing up. They would talk of their hopes and their dreams - they shared everything. Sohvi was always a bit of a nerd and it took time for her to grow into her looks but Gabriel was always a natural. They made a bit of an odd pair from the outside but on the inside there was no questioning their friendship. They were together through thick and thin and this situation only made it more clear. While she was intelligent she was god awful at reading people. He was always persuading away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor. This is what completely confused her as she watched him press his hands against his face. "What?"[/i] The puzzled look on her face didn't quite explain just how confused she was at this point. "Gabe ... what are you talking about?"[/i] she asked her voice barely above a whisper. She tried to understand what he was talking about but she was drawing blanks until it finally hit her. "... Gabe, I'm so confused."[/i] she wiped away the tears that were lingering on her face.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] gabe's old t-shirt
music,[/i][/size] sappy playlist.
notes,[/i][/size]short but i was stuck![/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kaliann]

^H

[/i][/color]e couldn't look at her. And crying in front of her felt so wrong, he was not supposed to be like this. He was Gabe Burke after all, nothing got to him. He let out a sob that if this would have been any other situation, would have been described as gay but he couldn't help that he was having a complete breakdown in front of her. With his hands still covering his face he said, "I lied about us hooking up," his voice cracked as he went on ,"When I picked you up, you were so drunk and I brought you back here and we slept together, and I didn't wear a condom, I didn't even think about it,". He had ruined everything, in his mind he could see all the times that he had wanted to kiss her. When they graduated high school together, when they would sit in the garden on the roof of his parents' building, after she had graduated from college. But these were just the big moments, he wanted to kiss her every minute that they were together. When she beat a level on Grand Theft Auto, when he taught her how to roll a blunt, when she lay with just his t shirt on in his bed, he would never be able to count all the little moments. So many lost moments, so many moments that he would always replay in his head. He felt disgusted with himself and like a coward. He finally lifted his head from his hands and looked into her tear streaked face. "Please, can you ever forgive me," it wasn't like a question, more of a demand, a demand he didn't have any right to make. "Please, don't give the baby up. Please," And in that moment he was sure that his heart was breaking.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] sohvi
wardrobe,[/i][/size] does it matter what he's wearing when he looks like that
music,[/i][/size] knocked up, obv.
notes,[/i][/size]rae's format & melissa's graphics. ily [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[sohvi holt]

^S

[/i][/color]he couldn't help but bust out into tears as she listened to him confess the truth from that night. She stared at the computer screen in disbelief of everything she was hearing. The images of that night rushed to her mind as she felt her breathing quicken. Her hand pressed against her chest as she felt her heart racing. She remembered the feeling of his lips against her own. She remembered her small hands pressing against his cool skin. She remembered telling him that she loved him because in that moment nothing mattered. She opened her eyes as she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. "I remember the kiss."[/i] she managed to say as she choked back the tears. "I just never had the courage to do it sober."[/i] she said attempting a small smile but it soon faded as the reality set back in. One drunken night had changed their lives forever. She had always been so scared to lose their friendship and now that same fear was filling her stomach. "This changes everything"[/i] she managed to say softly as she met his gaze for the first time. "Gabe, I just. I-I don't know if I can do this."[/i] she whispered softly as her thoughts fell back on her late mother. She hardly ever talked about her biological mother who had died giving birth to Sohvi. Sohvi's biological mother had been twenty years of age just as Sohvi was now. She felt the irony of the situation was too much to bare and she was beyond terrified of the outcome. "I keep telling myself it's going to be alright but I'm fucking terrified."[/i] she said softly as her hands pressed against her stomach. She looked down and shook her head before blinking away the tears, "... and I don't want to lose you. You're my everything."[/i] she admitted before the tears streamed down her face once more.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] gabe's old t-shirt
music,[/i][/size] sappy playlist.
notes,[/i][/size]sasgdasdg![/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kaliann]

^O

[/i][/color]f course she remembered. How could she not have remembered? It was the best night of his life, the way that her body molded perfectly into his. The way she whispered his name into her ear and the way she looked at him, like she trusted him completely. And he had betrayed her. ”I’ve loved you for every minute of every day, for my entire life,”. But he could hear the fear in her voice, the pain of what she was going through, filled up every single word and it made him feel afraid. She’d told him about her mother, they must have still been in high school. Gabe had knew that she was adopted but never realized she knew anything about her biological parents and it broke his heart to see her that vulnerable talking about her mother. ”I don’t want to lose you or the baby. I was afraid that you would hate me, for doing this to you,” he said, not surprised that she had said that she was afraid of losing him but it was almost like a sense of being needed that he had never really completely felt until this moment. ”And I’ll clean up, I’ll start going to class, and I’ll quit smoking weed and I’ll figure out how to put a fucking crib together,” he rambled on and on. ”I won’t make you do this along, the last thing I would want is for you to be alone,” he could feel his nose running and felt his eyelashes getting stuck together from the tears, and pulled his shirt up to wipe his face, but taking a minute to take a deep breath, to gather his thoughts. ”I love you, have I mentioned that,”

[/color][/font][/i][/size] sohvi
wardrobe,[/i][/size] does it matter what he's wearing when he looks like that
music,[/i][/size] knocked up, obv.
notes,[/i][/size]rae's format & melissa's graphics. ily [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[sohvi holt]

^S

[/i][/color]he felt that her heart was bound to beat right out of her chest as everything became clear. The images that she once thought were unreal were now her reality. Her head felt heavy with all of the thoughts running through her mind as she looked down at her stomach. She knew that soon there would be a growing baby - their baby. She took in a deep breathe as she looked back at the screen of her laptop where she kept her eyes focused on Gabriel. "Gabe, I could never hate you."[/i] she whispered softly as she brushed away the tears that seemed to never go away. "... I wanted you just as much as you wanted me that night. I've always wanted you."[/i] the words felt so natural coming from her lips that she didn't even think twice. All of the years she had constantly thrown out the idea of a future with him - couldn't be more wrong. She still viewed herself as that tiny little girl who was a nervous wreck every single day. That girl had no chance with Gabriel Burke but here she was with everything turned upside down so far away from her plan. She began to cry a bit more as she heard him ramble on about what he would do for her. "As long as I have you ..."[/i] her voice was barely above a whisper as she kept eye contact with him "... I think I'll make it through this crazy thing."[/i] she said before taking in a deep breathe knowing that she should be thankful and happy about all of this yet the fear of the unknown was still sinking into her stomach. She was terrified of what could happen or what would happen but in that moment it all seemed to disappear as he said three little words. She felt as if someone had stolen all the air in the room and she just stared back at him before finally uttering the words "I've always loved you, Gabriel. Always."[/i]

[/color][/font][/i][/size] gabe's old t-shirt
music,[/i][/size] sappy playlist.
notes,[/i][/size]sasgdasdg![/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]