coming back down ,

[kc5]

^{icarus sighed.  his large hand gripped the once cold metal of the door handle.  it was about his body temperature now since he had been standing here for a solid ten minutes.  he tried to twist the knob once again.  it had seemed like he had tried to turn it about a million times now.  why the hell was her door locked?  he had been in this position since he had gotten home from work.  he had had to stay late tonight to lock up and clean up the kitchen. he had walked in, cracked open a beer, and begin to look for neve. she usually met him at the door or at least the living room with a smile.  she didn't tonight though.  a sure sign that something was wrong.  he had knocked on her door a few times and then had decided that he was just going to barge in.  all of that went down the tube when he realized the door was locked from the inside.  "shit, neve, open up." he said with one more half assed push on the door, "please talk to me." he huffed and walked into his room.  icarus looked around his room.  damn, it was messy.  he found his laptop laying on the floor.  he picked it up and examined it, luckily it wasn't broken.  he threw open his laptop and waited for it to turn on.  it took forever and a day for it to turn on.  at least to him, that's how long it seemed it took.  as soon as it the screen lot up with the home screen, he got onto skype.  he clicked on neve's name and waited for it to connect.  he just stared blankly at his screen until they were connected.  finally he was going to get to talk to her.  neve's face popped up on the screen and he smiled.  "there you are.  now, why the hell is your door locked?" he asked in a playfully mad way.  he was actually a little mad that she wouldn't let him in though. what was so wrong with her that she wouldn't talk to him.  icarus was a little worried.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] neve. <3
wardrobe,[/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] who says, selena gomez c:
notes,[/i][/size] credit to you for like everything.  and i suck.[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^S

[/i][/color]omethings would never be easy but for some reason Neve always convinced herself that she could handle it. She felt that she was strong enough to see Lucas even though she knew that she wasn't. She would do things only to prove a point but in the end she would only hurt herself. She liked to give off the vibe that she was a strong and confident woman who didn't need anyone but it was all a facade. She had locked herself up in her room ever since she had returned. She was too embarrassed to let Icarus see her with the tears streaming down her face. She thought that maybe if she was quiet enough he would just assume that she had gone out for the night but he seemed to know her better then that. She heard the buzzing noise of her Skype as she looked over to her laptop. She knew that she couldn't ignore him, this wasn't his fault. She accepted the call and soon enough Icarus popped up on the screen. She gave herbest attempt at a fake smile before answering. "I'm not feeling too well."[/color] the words left her lips softly as if she were just stating that her stomach was feeling a bit upset. She noticed the tears on her face and wiped them away hoping that he wouldn't notice her distraught appearance. "Just been a rough night."[/color] She would use these simple excuses as if things would simply get better over time but she knew it wasn't the truth.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] stolen car - patty griffin.
notes,[/i][/size] love 'em![/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kc5]

^{he didn't like the feeling that he was getting in his stomach. he listened to her excuse. he still didn't understand why she would lock herself in her room because she didn't feel very well.  "well, open your door up, come outside, and i'll make you some chicken noodle soup. or tomato if you prefer." he said grinning. she was trying to give him this fake ass smile. he wasn't buying it. there was something ligitamtely wrong and he was going to figure out what it was. as he stared at her beautiful face, he noticed something wasn't right. her cheeks were puffy and her eyes were red. and wait. was that tears in her face? she was crying. this hurt icarus to see her crying. he was kind of like a big brother too her right now. even though those feelings were beginning to make way for stronger ones, he was going to act as if they weren't. he knew that he shouldn't feel more. he was kind of dating isla for one thing. for another he had only known her for a week or so. not even that long. he was already beginning to have feelings for her? icarus thought that this would be interesting, to say the least. "so you might feel bad, but it's because you feel bad about something. i don't believe you're physically sick. " he sighed and ran his hands through his blonde hair. he was going to feel horrible if she actually was sick and he just said that. "come on, neve. you know you can tell me anything. i'm here for you. plus, i can't be best roomate ever if you don't let me be." he laughed a little. he was hoping his jokes would make her smile forreal. oh, how he loved to see her smile. it made his day. especially when it was because of him. he was begining to like almost everything about her. her jokes, her laugh, her eyes, her body. man how he loved her body. especially when it was only covered in one if his t shirts.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] who says, selena gomez c:
notes,[/i][/size] credit to you for like everything.  and i suck.[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^T

[/i][/color]here would always be something about Lucas that kept her wondering what could have been. She kept contact with his Mother who always called her the daughter she would soon have. She felt it was difficult to move on from the past she left in California especially because it was following her all the way to New York City - literally. The news of Lucas' arrival only seemed to make her brother's ecstatic and that worried her. She tried her best to tell them it was a bad idea but as usual it only started a fight. Cassius was the oldest and generally he was a bit of a father figure to Neve. She would always look to him for guidance although he wasn't exactly a saint. She looked to the screen once more as she hurt him offer to make her soup. She let out a deep sigh as she shook her head. She felt bad lying to him when it was so clear that she wasn't having a tiny stomach ache. She laughed slightly at his joke as a small smile appeared on her face, "I'm just an emotional wreck."[/color] she said as she tried to laugh it off while wiping away the tears that fell from her eyes. "Lucas is back and he's being himself again and my brother's are going to beat him up and well I sort of have feelings for you and you have a girl and none of this makes sense."[/color] she let the words flow from her mouth freely without even realizing what she had said. Word vomit was the worst, especially when it was emotional. "... I told you I was a mess."[/color] she said as she wiped the tears away and shook her head. She pulled at the sleeves on the t-shirt she was wearing. She looked down to notice that it was Icarus' shirt "... and I sort of took your shirt."[/color] she said as she shrugged her shoulders a bit. "I'm sorry."[/color] she finally admitted not able to say much more without making a fool of herself.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] stolen car - patty griffin.
notes,[/i][/size] word vomit, hahaha.[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kc5]

^{icarus had a slight idea of what may be wrong with neve.  one word, well one name actually.  he hated this name since it had become associated with the guy.  lucas.  lucas.  lucas.  that name made him cringe everytime he heard it.  he was he guy that had hurt neve.  actually in all reality, icarus should be thanking the guy.  if he hadn't cheated on her, neve never would've ended up here.  icarus wasn't glad that it happened, but he was glad that he ended up living with this amazing girl.  he also knew that her brothers wanted to whoop his ass.  honestly, he did too.  he wished that the three of them could get together and just brat him up.  he would regret cheating on her.  icarus hated cheaters and seeing neve hurt.  when she said that she was an emotional wreck, he nodded his head.  he could see that.  before he could make a comment, there it came.  the word vomit.  her word vomit.  it was full of things he already knew.  that was until he got to the part where she said that she had feelings fir him.  he could 't have heard that correctly.  that couldn't have been right.  wait, what did she say after that?  something about a girl and his shirt and something.  it was like she was one of Charlie brown's parents now.  all he heard was wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.  he just stared at her for a moment.  then a big grin flashed onto his face for a fleeting moment.  "woah, i knew like 90 percent of that." he paused and smiled, "then you got to the part where you said that you had feelings for me. that part is new"  he smiled only for a moment more.  what about isla?  dammit. what about her? he didn't have the same feelings for her as he did neve.  they were different but great either way.  "want to know something?" he asked smirking, "i have feelings for you too."}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] your love, the outfield
notes,[/i][/size] love them to BITS. <3[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^I

[/i][/color]f things were not complicated enough the perfect guy had to walk right into her life. Icarus seemed too good to be true at times but so far he's been nothing short of perfect. She knew that this wasn't the right time but that didn't stop her emotions from feeling that way. They always spent every night together curled up on the couch watching movies or getting into flour fights in the kitchen. She could be herself around him without holding back and she hoped that he felt the same way towards her. When those words left her lips she sat there stunned as she looked at the screen. "What?"[/color] the words left her lips before she had any time to process them. She knew her emotions were getting the best of her as she felt the tears roll down her face. She quickly wiped them away as she shook her head. "You really shouldn't."[/color] she whispered her voice barely audible. She didn't want to hurt him and she felt that it was inevitable for someone to lose in this situation. She didn't know what was going on with Lucas and she certainly wasn't aware of what was going to happen between Icarus and herself. They had already spent a few nights wrapped up together in his bed and it has been absolutely perfect but she felt that he deserved better. "You deserve someone better."[/color]

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] skinny love - bon iver.
notes,[/i][/size] word vomit, hahaha.[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[kc5]

^{all of this was coming at him at once.  everything right now in his life had done like a complete 180.  he honestly didn't know what to expect anymore.  first he had finally gotten up the nerve to ask a girl out that he thought was someone close to his dream girl.  this girl made him stop smoking pot and wanted him to make up with his family.  he would've said fuck no to anyone else, maybe except for neve, if they had told him either of those things.  so, he was trying to talk ti viv and figure things out with his family.  he would eventually work his way up to his dad.  just hadn't gotten that far yet.  he couldn't believe he had stopped smoking weed.  not necessarily against his will, but she was the final push for sure.  he kind of missed it, but he liked this girl.  then in comes neve.  the exact definition of icarus's dream girl.  he couldn't believe it.  she didn't ask him to do any of this.  she just wanted to be around him for who he was.  he loved that.  he felt so much more comfortable around her.  he had different feelings for both girls though.  he cared for them both.  a lot actually.  only in different ways.  he wasn't sure if he could get past a deep caring for isla.  he thought that he could love neve.  he shook his head and laughed a little bit when she said that he shouldn't care for her.  "but i do.  anyways, why shouldn't i?" he asked.  he wished he could be in the room with her and hold her while she cried.  stupid wall.  he laughed some more when she said that he deserved someone better.  "you're the best thing that has happened to me.  you're my best friend.  we spend every single waking hour together, and even some sleeping.  i care for you." and isla.  kind of.  oh, he was going to have to straighten this one out somehow. someone was going to get hurt.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] believe me, i'm lying - forever the sickest kids
notes,[/i][/size] love them to BITS. <3[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^T

[/i][/color]hey were quickly becoming inseparable but it simply felt natural to Neve. She couldn't help but be attracted to his charm and sweet gestures. She knew that he truly cared for her and would do anything he could to make her happy but she felt as if she didn't deserve that happiness. She was fairly screwed up and generally expected the worst from people but it seemed there was nothing bad about Icarus. She was enjoying her time with him but thoughts about Lucas were always lurking at the back of her mind. She still kept in contact with his Mother who told her that she was getting ready to give Lucas her engagement ring to give to Neve. She couldn't really get over that and now Lucas was acting like his old self again - the man she had spent three years with. She loved him and she would always love him but she felt as if their chapter had been shut the day he fucked her best friend. She always told herself never to settle and never to apologize for wishing the best for herself but yet she felt herself wondering if she had made the right choice simply running away so quickly. "... because I'm a mess."[/color] she said simply as if that was going to explain all of her problems. She was unable to say much more before he told her that he felt she was his best friend and that he cared for her. She took in a deep breathe as she looked at the screen and brushed away a few tears. She slowly shut the laptop and got off the bed. She pulled at the shirt that adorned her small frame trying to make sure she wasn't revealing too much of her underwear before she unlocked the door and opened it. She made her way down the hall and pushed open his bedroom door. She barged in and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. "I really do not know what I would do without you, Icarus."[/color] she whispered softly into his ear before pressing her lips to his cheek.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] skinny love - bon iver.
notes,[/i][/size] awwwwe.[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul]

[kc5]

^{neve was a mess. just right now. he didn't mean it in the way she did. all she could tell him was that she was a mess and cry. it hurt him every time he saws tear roll down her face. it was like someone was punching him in the stomach. it made him sick to see her this upset. it made him want to cry. he wouldn't do that though. he wanted to just hold her and kiss her and tell her that everything was going to be ok.  "you are not a mess. you're just a little stressed and confused." he said smiling. he was hoping that his smile would make her smile. it usually did. she just sat there and looked at him after he told her what he thought of her. this moment of silence seemed to last forever. he held his breath until she moved. she was closing the computer screen. wait, why? "neve, wait. what're you do-" he began to ask the blank screen. had he done something wrong? he waited for a moment and held his breath. then he heard footsteps and they were getting closer and closer to his door. he closed his laptop and waited for her to come in. before he could say anything, she had climbed on the bed with him and had her arms around him. he put his arms around her and pulled her close. his baggy t shirt was all bunched up around her. he wasn't going to try and take this opportunity to try and look at her, because that would be wrong. he just held her close. when she pulled back a little to say something, he let go of her a little, even though he didn't want to. he laughed at what she said and smiled when she kissed his cheek. "honestly, i think that you would be fine without me. you're strong, independent, and beautiful. you might even be better off. especially now since looser is back. you wouldn't have to worry about how i feel and what i feel for you." he rambled just a little there. he almost spit out the words i love you. this was 't the time and he wasn't one hundred percent sure yet. he kissed her on the forehead. he slid his hand in her hair right in front of her ear and cupped her face. he wiped away the tears from the eye closest to his hand. "neve, i hate to see you cry. it hurts me." he said softly. he stared into her eyes. god, he wanted to kiss her. he was worried that that would be a bad idea right now though. that may do more harm than good. he tilted her chin towards him and leaned forward anyways. he got about three inches from her face and stopped. then he backed away slowly. "sorry. probably shouldn't kiss you. even though i really want to." he said with an awkward smile.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] come down with love, all star weekend
notes,[/i][/size] love them to BITS. <3
do we need to go to the mini threads now?[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^E

[/i][/color]motions were running wild as she wrapped her arms around Icarus. She wasn't sure what to think but in that moment there wasn't much she could think about. She smiled a bit as she listened to him speak. Neve was confident but she never truly thought of herself as a strong, independent, and beautiful woman. She always struggled with thinking of herself in that way. She felt his hand cup her face as they made eye contact. She could still feel the tears rolling down her cheeks although these were now happy tears. She was so confused as to what was going on with them but in that moment she was just enjoying it. She felt as if a bit of a weight had been lifted as she no longer had to hide the fact that she had feelings built up for him. "These are happy tears."[/color] she whispered softly as the corners of her lips pulled upwards into a smile. She could feel her heart beat rise as it looked as if he was going to go in for a kiss. She smiled softly as he backed away and she leaned into make up for it. She pressed her lips against his own softly as she closed her eyes. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as her hands rummaged through his light brown locks of hair. She pulled her face away just a bit as she smiled at him, "Stop thinking so much."[/color] the words left her lips barely above as whisper before she pressed her lips against his once more.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] if it ain't you - maroon 5.
notes,[/i][/size] awwwwe cutecute.[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul]

[kc5]

^{icarus laughed at neve when she said that she was crying happy tears.  at least she seemed a little happier.  a little.  he still didn't like to see her cry.  he was glad that she was in the same room as he was now.  he could hold her close and kiss her.  exactly what he wished he could do all day, every day.  he honestly didn't believe that he would get tired of it.  or tired of her.  he was falling in love.  there was no doubt.  he wanted to at least tell her that.  it would stress her out more though.  he was worried about that.  she needed to know though.  all of this was swept from his mind for a fleeting moment when she kissed him. he wasn't expecting for her to close the distance between them.  he was glad she did, but wasn't expecting it.  he felt her hands move to his soldiers and go into his hair.  damn, that made him melt every time.  when she kissed him like that, he was all hers.  he couldn't do anything but think about her kissing him like that.  his arms moved around her small waste.  he grasped his baggy t shirt that sat on her body.  all he could do was smile when she pulled away from him.  he just nodded when she told him not to think to much.  he pulled her closer to him when she pressed her lips against his once again.  he pulled away and laid her down on his bed.  then be laid next to her and pulled her close to him.  he kissed her on the forehead and smiled at her.  icarus took a deep breath.  he was about to tell her the extent of how he felt for her.  "i'm going to tell you something.  i don't know if you'll be more upset to hear this or ecstatic to hear it." he said just above a whisper and kissed her lightly on the lips. he pulled back and stared into her eyes.  "neve alvaro," he took another deep breath, "i think that i am falling in love with you." he held his breath and waited for a response.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] show goes on, lupe fiasco
notes,[/i][/size] cutecutecute. <3[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^L

[/i][/color]ove was a strong word that Neve always seemed to struggle with. She was never quite the type to go around telling her various boyfriends that she loved them because she was never so sure of herself. She loved very few people in her life but two of them would always be constant - Cassius and Clay. Her brothers had protected her from everything in life and that held true today. Lucas and Neve had dated for nearly three years with their anniversary soon approaching. She had completely fallen for him and she truly fet as if he was going to be the one. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to feel that way about anyone else but she did know that she had feelings for Icarus. When those words left his lips she took in a deep breathe and bit down on her lip. She looked into his eyes as she smiled softly, "I don't want to hurt you."[/color] she whispered softly as she shook her head. She could feel the tears building up once more as she looked at him. "Icarus, I care for you and I do have strong feelings for you but right now my emotions are sort of hazy."[/color] She wished that she could feel the same way about him but those emotions were not there yet. She was still trying to recover from everything that happened with Lucas which seemed a lot more complicated then ever. "I really do care for you but I'm just not sure of whats going on."[/color] she whispered softly before brushing away the tears on her cheeks.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] if it ain't you - maroon 5.
notes,[/i][/size] she does care for him but its hard :c[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul]

[kc5]

^{he sat there silently as she spoke. he listened carefully to all of her words. after finished talking he wiped away more tears and pulled her in close. they were only a couple of inches away from each others face. he kissed her forehead and then her lips. he stared into her eyes and just thought about what he was going to say. he didn't want her to cry anymore, but he wanted to talk about all of this. he knew that they needed to.  "i didn't tell you that expecting the same thing in return. i said it because i needed to get it off of my chest and because you needed to know that lucas isn't the only one that cares deeply for you." he cringed when he said lucas's name. icarus hated to even think about him. he hated him. if it wasn't for him he could probably be dating neve now. in reality she wouldn't be here if it was 't for him either. "basically i want you to be well informed abou your options." he said with a chuckle. maybe that would get her to crack a bit of a smile. he brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead again. he loved doing that. it was his second favorite place to kiss her besides her mouth. "i understand that everything is confusing right now. i apologize if i made it worse. i just want you to be happy. if you end up with lucas and you're happy, I'll be happy for you. no one else's happiness is as important as yours. i just want you to know that." he said. most of that was true, but he would care a little if she was with him. he died a little inside every time he even thought about the two of them together. he truely wished that he could just have neve all to himself. Icarus began rubbing his hands up and down the sides of her body. he enjoyed feeling the curves of her body. he wasn't doing this in a sexual way. he knew that it felt good. he smiled at her. "by the way, you look amazing in my shirt. everything about you is gorgeous." he said. that would get a smile out of her for sure. or at least he hoped so.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] after work .
music,[/i][/size] show goes on, lupe fiasco
notes,[/i][/size] i love them so much. <3[/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[neve alvaro]

^E

[/i][/color]verything seemed to happen so fast these days she felt she had a hard time keeping up. She took in a deep breathe as she listened to his words. She blinked back the tear as she brushed them off her cheeks. How did she end up with such an amazing guy? She felt her lips being pulled into a smile as he mentioned her options. She hated to be one of those girls who were stringing along a line of guys but it had seemingly turned into something of the sort. "Well thank you Icarus."[/color] she whispered softly before feeling his lips press against her forehead. She took in a deep breathe as she listened to him once more and shook her head, "I just don't want to hurt anyone."[/color] she admitted as she closed her eyes and pressed her face against his chest. She wanted to curl up in his arms and stay there forever - hiding from all of the decisions she would have to make in the upcoming weeks. She took in a deep breathe as she felt his hands glide up and down her sides. She pulled her face away from his chest as a blush broke out on her cheeks and she smiled, "You're too nice to me."[/color] she let out a small laugh as she looked down at the shirt that adorned her body. She felt as if she looked like a total wreck but she could have cared less at the time. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest as she closed her eyes. "Lets just stay this way forever."[/color] the words barely audible as she held him close too afraid to let go.

[/color][/font][/i][/size] lazy.
music,[/i][/size] stolen car - patty griffin.
notes,[/i][/size] awwwwe <33[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote][/ul]