.. page six

[see like me]

<sup>happy tuesday, new york! if you got a little bit bored reading justjared or perez (don't worry, we don't blame you), we are here to pick up the slack. why read about celebrities when you can get the juicy facts about your own neighbor. real life has always been way more fun.

for those of you that haven't heard, our own local health and fitness goddess has been diagnosed with cancer. what's even more tragic about this situation, is the fact that her husband and business partner, sully mccoy, has been getting down and dirty with his personal secretary, scarlett hayworth. it's pretty clear to see the two have chemistry, but it's a shame mr. mccoy couldn't wait until the missus passed away. our inside sources claim they saw the two playing doctor after gym hours. maybe all those windows weren't such a good investment, huh sully? honestly we don't find any of this surprising. sully has been flirting with women for ages, including olivia thorton and even his best friends wife, sylvia stoltz.

nicole jones has really been causing a stir this week. just about everyone knows about her relationship with boyfriend oliver mccoy, son of hotel mougel that was arrested for street fighting several years back, but it doesn't seem to be stopping her from cacorting around town with anyone that will give her time time of day. no really, anyone! nicole was seen locking lips and looking affectionate with several young lads this week. pictures can be seen here, here, here, and lastly, here. and yes, ladies and gentlemen, those are all different guys, and that was only just in the past few weeks. word to the wise for oliver mccoy, just remember that after she's locked lips with all those guys, at the end of the day she's coming back home to you. doesn't that leave a fresh taste in your mouth?

now to get to the younger crowd. i'm sorry that we have to point this out, but i'm sure we're not the only one noticing these crazy, blood shot, dialated, strung out eyes. we get it, celia. you're young and trying to have fun, but maybe you need to take some advice from your older sisters and calm down a little bit. remember that all that information on the above the influence commercials is true! besides, if you've stooped so low as to make your cocaine use noticable, you have a problem. a little recreational use is alright, but at a charity event? shame on you! we know that elise dane has been trying to keep out our sight, as of late, but we can't help but stir the pot a little. here are some exclusive, never before released picture from one of her upcomming photoshoots. click and click. just remember, elise, with a body like that, you can run from us but you can't hide!

beau atkins and lela lefemina were caught making out. despite the fact that this is incredibly hot, it's not really interesting or unexpected, so moving on to the next thing. neve alvaro has currently come back into contact with her ex-boyfriend lucas costello. we can all go back in time and remember just how fucking dramatic it was when lucas cheated on her, but apparently he didn't get the memo to move on and is now back for another round. the thing is, neve is living with icarus davila now and something tells me this isn't going to end pretty. relationship drama is taking over the world- sort of like how the mccoy family is taking over new york city. if i have to type this name i'm going to be sick- but not as sick as daphne mccoy is feeling now that she's taken with child. the real tragedy of this story is the fact that her ex-boyfriend and babydaddy wants absolutely nothing to do with her. daphne's a whore, so chances are this baby isn't his anyways. no love lost!

lastly, no page six entry can be complete with out an exceprt about our resident gossip goddess ithika forsyth. we all know that she and cassius alvero have been sleeping together for as long as any of us can remember, but what we didn't know was that she was also screwing atticus caufeild which is not only surprising, but makes very little sense.

until next time, much love.

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[sarah marshall]

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- sarah marshall