,. window blues -

[sohvi holt]

^{MEMORIES of Rex would never be easy to forget. While their relationship was short lived and honestly a bit shitty they had a connection that one often does not find so easily. It had been months since they last saw one another but yet they seemed to pick up right where they left off. She found herself snuggled up against him when she heard the flight attendants announce that they were going to land in Paris soon. She took a deep breathe before warily sitting up just to glance his way once more. "I still hate landings."}

[/i] she said with a bit of a laugh before she closed her eyes and took in a few deep breathes in an attempt to calm the nerves that were growing as she felt the plane descend. Everything went as planned and soon enough she found herself waiting around for their luggage to show up. "Knowing my luck our luggage probably went to Germany."[/i] she said with a smile before she spotted her signature floral suitcase and she hurriedly snatched it from the conveyor belt. As the made their way towards the exit she watched various friends, family, and couples reunite with hugs and smiles.

Sohvi pulled along her suitcase as they walked towards a small Parisian taxi that would be taking them to their hotel that they had previously stayed at. It all seemed like such a long time ago although in reality it had only been a few months. She kept her eyes focused on the scenery outside always taken by the cities beauty. "It's always so beautiful here."[/i] she said before glancing over towards Rex once more and giving him a small smile. "I'm really glad you asked me to come."[/i] she said before pressing her hand up against his own and giving it a small squeeze. She was still a bit tired from the flight but there was no way she was going to waste away in a hotel room. She had enough of the relaxation when she was pregnant and honestly ever since she's just been waiting to go out and have a bit of fun.

The car ride was a bit short and soon enough the taxi came to a halt. She watched as Rex pulled out his wallet and payed the driver before they both stepped out and walked towards the trunk. Sohvi struggled to pull her suitcase out of the back as she set it back down against the ground. "I think I have a packing problem."[/i] she said shaking her head as she thought of the useless nonsense she had brought along with her. The suitcase seemed to be just as big as she was and probably weighed just as much too. She struggled to pull it along as they entered the hotel. Everything in Paris seemed to be more beautiful although she knew it was all in her head. Sohvi spaced out as Rex talked to the desk attendant about their reservation. She took in a deep breathe as she thought back on the last year and just how much had changed. Her thoughts lingered back to their relationship and how it had ended to abruptly. Rex had hurt her and she tried not to let it show but the days following the break up she seemed to turn her life upside down. She quit her job and got too drunk to even realize what she was doing thus landing her with a child. Skip ahead nine months and you'll be back in the present.

As soon as they were in their room she plopped down on the bed letting out a deep sigh as she wiggled around on the duvet. "Ughhh, I hate flying."[/i] the words escaping her lips with a deep sigh as she struggled to pull away the grey blazer that was constricting her. "If we were flying anywhere else I would have worn my pj's but you know got to look stylish for Paris."[/i] she said with a smile before kicking off the white heels that adorned her feet. She pushed her hands through her hair as she looked over towards Rex once more those old feelings still lingering no matter how much she tried to push them away. "Come and nap with me."[/i] she said patting the mattress next to her.

[/i][/font] rex.
WARDROBE, click.
MUSIC, big jet plane - angus & julia stone.
NOTES, this took a million years and is sort of awful my b!
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[rex wisterwijk]

- - - Paris, france a city of romance and a memory that rex wasn't quite sure whether or not was a good one. it was somewhat of a first date for them and the idea of returning there seemed uncomfortable at best. from their first conversation, rex was taken by the brunette. at first simply due to boredom that she filled perfectly, but it soon grew into a curious desire for her to be around at all times. the dependency wasn't an attractive quality in either gender and in his quest to prove to himself that he didn't need her, he made the decision to welcome another into his bed. the realization of what he had done only slowly dawned on him as time passed and even months after they had split, rex was still in a pit of denial about his actions truly being all that unexpected. he was an old dog who would never change his spots. yet watching sohvi rest comfortably against him, the scent of her perfume overwhelming him every now and then, seemed to constrict his chest and fill him with a guilt that he was not ready to admit to himself. he shifted uncomfortably as she sat up, avoiding looking at her for longer than a brief moment and looked off in the direction of a few other passengers moving around in their seats. without replying to her statement, rex simply tightened his grip he had about her shoulders and continued to admire everything but the gorgeous girl at his side.

- - - In typical rex fashion, he'd only brought along a small duffel bag with a couple items, which he'd managed to snatch up within a few minutes of waiting. the second she had suitcase in hand, rex felt it was the proper time to finally make some sort of comment in her direction. "look at you, princess is carrying her own bag." although snarky and contradicting to what he truly knew of the girl, it was a comment that left his lips before his mind had much of a moment to even process what he was saying. shrugging it off, he made his way from the terminal, tugging sohvi by the hand until he found a suitable taxi. the attempt at explaining where they were going frustrated rex to no end, but finally arriving at their destination relaxed him considerably. regardless of the fact that he hadn't bothered to convert any of his american money yet, he shoved the cash at the man in an estimation of what he thought the ride cost and shut the door behind him. the sight of sohvi struggling with her bag made him laugh. shaking his head, his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, rex was anything but the perfect gentleman.

- - - Dropping his luggage in the room, ignoring the clearly worn girl on the bed, rex merely tugged his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and pulled one of the marlboro red's from the pack. "fuck, i needed a smoke since we got on that plane." quickly lighting the cigarette, he inhaled the toxic fumes, allowing the smoke to fill his chest cavity for a couple seconds before exhaling as slow as possible. "yeah, ya fucking suck for dressing like that." taking another drag before continuing, rex was allowing his mind to wander. they had a beautiful view of paris from their room and he had a beautiful girl laying in bed. ignoring the fact that she had recently given birth, he eyed her contemplating how much effort it would take to get her on her knees. what a concept. sitting in a room over looking the city of romance with a cigarette between his lips, his pants around his ankles and sohvi on her knees. smirking at the thought, rex leaned over her for a moment. one arm on either side of her, the cigarette hanging loosely from his lips as he hovered over her. "no one sleeps on vacation, gorgeous."

[/i][/color] the words were stifled by the cancer stick between his lips. shifting his weight to one arm in order to tug the cigarette away for a moment. in some twisted way finding it humorous as he exhaled smoke above her head - the boy was full of class.

- - - Kissing her forehead, rex pushed himself from the bed, adjusting his clothes quickly and snatched up her shoes. "let's go."[/i][/color] he had no idea where he wanted to go and no idea what was even in the general vicinity of their hotel, but he had no intentions of staying in the hotel room. if it came down to it, he had no qualms about walking around paris for the day and then crashing for the duration of their vacation. all he knew is he had full intentions of drinking as much alcohol as his stomach could handle before the sun rose again tomorrow morning. the second the exited the hotel, he dropped the cigarette in the dirt and smothered it out. where do you want to go? food? sight seeing? shopping? ... though i'd kind of just rather drinking the night away, but whatever."[/i][/color] shrugging and yawning almost consecutively, rex allowed his eyes to wander. taking in the sights - primarily a group of girls talking rapidly in something he couldn't quite distinguish. realizing he was staring, he looked back towards sohvi. waiting for some sort of decision from the girl was excruciating as both his mind and sight continued to wander and he couldn't help but fiddle with his pockets and try to keep himself occupied.

notes - - done , i suck, nothing unusual tharrr.

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[sohvi holt]

SOMETIMES she wondered why she wasted her time with Rex. He never really held a lot of respect for her and the remaining respect he had for her had slowly dwindled away over the past nine months as her stomach slowly ballooned up. In so many ways she wanted to blame Rex for the mess she had gotten herself into but she knew she couldn't. His actions had driven her to drink a little too much that night but he had no part in the sex that later happened. As much as she regretted that night looking back she still wouldn't change it. Over the last nine months she was forced to grow and mature into someone who she wasn't quite expecting. In many ways she had changed but yet she felt her old self slipping back into place just as quickly. Taking this trip to Paris with Rex was risky and she was well aware of that but yet she couldn't help but say yes. Her feelings for Rex were still there regardless of how much she wanted to deny it. She wanted to push those feelings away and simply pretend as if they had never existed in the first place - the same way he had. As she watched him light up his cigarette in the hotel room she was brought back to so many memories of the two of them sprawled out on his mattress with cigarette smoke lingering in the air.

Not many girls were ever brought back to Rex's apartment and it made her feel special to know that she was always welcomed there while they were seeing each other. They didn't talk much while together but rather let their actions speak instead. Most of their time was spent without clothes on letting their bodies do the talking that they couldn't seem to do otherwise. She knew there was a lot more between them then he would ever let on and she had called him out on it many times before but he was unrelenting. She closed her eyes briefly as she took in the cigarette smoke as she slowly ran her hands through her hair. She opened her eyes to see him leaning over her as she focused on the cigarette hanging loosely between his lips. He always looked so hot when he smoked and she hated that she had ever admitted that to him. She shook her head at his words knowing very well they would spend the majority of this vacation in bed whether they were sleeping or not was another story. She felt his lips press against her forehead and she slowly pushed herself up off the bed. Her focus went to the window as she looked out at the beautiful view. She remembered standing in front of the same window with just a sheet wrapped around her not even a year ago.

She took in a deep breathe before being snapped back into the moment as he handed her the white heels she had been wearing earlier. She slid them back on her feet before standing up once more and following him out of the hotel. It was a little odd to be staying at the same hotel they had stayed at previously. She couldn't help but let the memories come flowing back as they made their way out to the street. They seemed so much happier back then and it wasn't quite as awkward as it was now. Everything was new and exciting then and now it just seemed that there was too much between them to even hold a decent conversation. She knew she wouldn't be able to make it through this vacation if they continued on this way and the only cure seemed to be a good stiff drink. She felt the warm sun hit her skin as they finally made it out to the streets and of course it didn't take long for Rex to spot a group of beautiful women. She rolled her eyes at him before taking in a deep breathe, "Let's go get a drink or two." She quickly grabbed his hand and tugged him in the direction of a nearby pub that they had been to previously. As they made their way there she pushed her hands into his pocket until she got what she was after - his cigarettes.

She pulled one out of the pack and put it in between her lips as she waited for him to light it for her. She could feel herself getting too worked up for no reason and it killed her. She hated that she was still wrapped up with this boy who clearly wasn't someone she needed to be going after. "I fucking hate you sometimes you know?" she said before taking a drag from the cigarette. She looked over at him once more noting the confused look on his face as she shook her head. "You just drive me mad sometimes - in the good way." she shook her head letting the smoke fill her lungs before she exhaled. They finally reached their destination as she entered the smoke filled pub and walked to a nearby table and took a seat. She licked her lips before pressing her cigarette into the ashtray as she glanced over at Rex once more but before she could say anything she was interrupted by one of the waitresses who worked there asking if they knew what they wanted.

[/i][/font] rex.
WARDROBE, click.
MUSIC, night time - the xx
NOTES, i suck.
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[rex wisterwijk]

- - - Somehow knowing that he got to her brought more satisfaction to him than anything else. he wasn't brought up in a household as such, yet somehow he managed to develop as fairly twisted sense of appreciation for the world. even when sohvi claimed to hate rex, there was a glimmer of pleasure from it. it was what spawned his sarcastic comments, even the hurtful and offensive. without much thought behind them, rex continued to speak without thinking about anyone else and their feelings. it didn't mean that he didn't care about the girl, it didn't mean that he truly meant anything he said, but somehow in his mind he determined that what he said only proved that much more to her how he felt. if he didn't care for her, he never would have brought her on this trip, he never would have allowed her to spend so much time in his apartment or spent so much energy on harassing her. girls he didn't like he dropped like yesterday's garbage without ever considering their mentality towards him - negative or positive. he wasn't the type for monogamy. he wasn't the type to settle down with someone thinking about where they would end up in five or ten years. rex was the kid that would end up sitting in a strip club with a needle in one arm, a cigarette perched between his feeble fingers, and a girl half his age straddling him as he drifted off to whatever adventures the after life may bring him. he'd someday end up alone while sohvi married some investor that caught her fancy and pampered her as she deserved. this was a fact that he was positive of, yet somehow he wasn't willing to let her so much as attempt to find prince charming. he wanted to hold on to her for as long as possible, even if he didn't deserve it and it was completely toxic for her.

- - - Selfish was his middle name, though, so there he stood. on the sidewalk of paris, deliberately keeping his eyes trained on any female but the one he brought, running a hand through his dark hair. occasionally a breeze would wash over them and rex would catch scent of the girls perfume or the sun would reflect in such a way that made his gaze wander back to the brunette. "you managed to get that baby fat off awful fast, i'm..."

[/i] he left the sentence hanging as his mind caught up to what he'd said. the words left his lips before he could think any further. he didn't want to discuss the baby, he was certain she wouldn't want to discuss the baby, and at the end of the day, he was simply praying to forget she was ever even pregnant. when she suggested drinks, he let out a hefty sigh. he was beyond grateful for the choice. at the back of his mind, he had already begun forming escape routes to the nearest pubs. if it was even slightly possible for him to slip away for a couple drinks while sohvi shopped or did whatever else she would've picked, he would have done so. "a drink or ten, i hope you mean because i fully intend on getting fucking shit faced." for the first time in their conversation, rex felt genuinely excited, which he was certain could be deciphered from the tone of his voice. drinking, having sex, and smoking were some of his favorite past times. he could die doing those things and be completely content. he'd have to attempt all three sometimes. he was accomplished at doing two - any combined pair - at once, but never all three. at least not without setting his sheets on fire and spilling alcohol - which was quite a sin in his books. maybe getting sohvi intoxicated enough, he'd be able to do so without her freaking out.

- - - The instant her hand dove into his pocket made rex flinch. his mind had begun wandering to subjects he wasn't about to say out loud and he had been caught off-guard by the sudden movement. smirking as she dug out the cigarettes, he let her work while pulling the lighter from his other pocket. "hey now, if you want to feel me up, there's an alley back there. i mean, i can't give you the whole right here on the street corner!" watching the girl perch the cigarette between her lips gave rex a moment to contemplate their relationship. there were times he wasn't even quite certain that they were friends, would be friends, or whether or not they would ever be more than that again. there was no reason he could think of that prevented them from being anything more. clearly his attitude needed an adjustment, but sohvi could suck it up; and clearly sleeping with ivy or whoever else he managed to bring home was not exactly something a boyfriend should be doing, but sohvi knew what kind of guy he was and knew that he just got bored and lonely. he needed to have someone in his bed and it wasn't fair to place the burden of his needs on sohvi. regardless of how he tried to portray himself or what he tried to convince himself of, he was a needy boy and even it if was a different girl every night, he needed to have that companionship. the cigarette light up bright red for a moment before dulling. rex stuffed the lighter back in his pocket and snatched the pack back and tucked it away in the pocket furthest from the girls wandering hands.

- - - Once again, in traditional rex fashion, the second he stepped through the doors of the smokey room, he inhaled dramatically and flung out his arms as if he was to be praised for gracing these people with his presence. dropping his hands at his side, he took in the interior of the building. he'd earned himself a couple inquiring glances but most ignored him - the stupid american tourist - and his ignorance. some were already long gone on their trip to intoxication and wouldn't be home until sometime tomorrow afternoon with a couple souvenirs called slutty and migraine. before even having the chance to figure out what he wanted, the waitress had appeared. leaning back in his seat to take in her appearance, he instantly had registered that she wasn't of much interest, but the image of sohvi from the corner of his eye made his eyes linger longer than they needed to. it was simply out of pettiness that he felt the need to make her jealous or angry by him admiring another woman, yet he couldn't help it. smirking, he allowed his eyes to take in the woman. admiring her chest - that wasn't much to brag about - and the face that blatantly wished she could work anywhere but with these pigs. "just a couple beers, whatever you have on tap. what do you have for food? because burgers would be great, but whatever food you've got."[/color] when he got no response, he raised an eyebrow. "shoo." he made a quick hand motion indicating she should be getting their drinks. he wasn't very patient guy but even now he just wanted the woman to go away. "service here sucks."[/i][/font] it was an unjustified comment being that he wasn't very polite in the first place, but he covered it up with a smile and offered sohvi another cigarette. watching her smoke was enough to keep him entertained for hours.

notes - - done , this sucks, but yay for progress.

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[sohvi holt]

SHE often thought about the baby and while she knew that she had made the right decision she was always left wondering. She knew that she would never be able to shake these feelings but she would try her hardest to do so. The first few weeks after giving birth she had drowned her sorrows in alcohol in a failed attempt to forget about everything. No matter the amount of alcohol she poured into her system she found herself sitting in her apartment alone sobbing about letting her daughter go. She was great at putting on her brave face and pretending that none of this affected her but it did. She knew that it was going to be hard but she never really expected it to hurt quite this much. As Rex mentioned her baby fat she bit down on her lip and shook her head acknowledging what he said without saying a word. Along with drinking until she would forget she took up running once more. She had always loved to run and she would just go on for ages until she felt her legs completely giving out beneath her. Running away from her problems seemed like a simple solution but her problems always had a way of catching back up to her. Sohvi gave her best smile as he mentioned getting shitfaced knowing very well that was exactly what she needed although it was never quite enough and never would be.

She wanted to rid these thoughts from her mind and she hurriedly pushed her hand into his pocket and grabbed at his pack of cigarettes. She took a cigarette out of the pack and put it between her lips as she faced him and awaited him to light it for her. She hardly ever smoked but the thoughts that wouldn't seem to leave her brain were forcing her to do it. She took another drag from the cigarette as she laughed at his comment. "As classy as that sounds if anything is going to happen it can wait until we get back to the hotel." she said before letting the smoke fill up her lungs before exhaling and looking in his direction once more with a small smirk on her face. She didn't really understand how she managed to get herself back in this same situation once more. After their break up she had assured herself that was last she would see of Rex but it wasn't quite so. They spoke quite often during her pregnancy and while it was hardly pleasant it was nice having someone to talk to even if that someone absolutely resented you because of your current state. Sohvi knew that deep down Rex cared for her although he would never admit that to her or even himself. She wasn't quite sure what she felt for him anymore but she knew very well that he wasn't good for her and yet that was part of the appeal.

Upon reaching the small pub Sohvi's eyes followed Rex curiously as she watched his behavior and she let out a deep sigh before rolling her eyes. He couldn't ever seem to shake that attitude of his - he always thought he was so much better than most and deserved the attention of everyone in the room. She remembered being so drawn to that upon first meeting him. The pub was filled with smoke and was rather dark and damp - not exactly the ideal place but she was honestly a bit over it all. As long as the tap worked she wouldn't be all that bothered by it. Their watress was rather average looking and it was obvious she was overworked from the bags underneath her eyes and the smug look on her face. Once she heard Rex's american accent you could see her fake smile fade before he shooed her off. Sohvi knew that he had no interest in the waitress yet he would purposely stare at her a bit longer than normal to piss her off. She didn't understand what kind of joy that brought him. He knew that she cared for him and yet he treated her this way. She shook her head at his comment about the service "You're just never pleased." she said taking the cigarette from his hands and placing it between her lips as he met her with the lighter.

She took a drag from the cigarette and let out a deep sigh before looking over at Rex once more. "You would do just about anything to piss me off, huh?" she said shaking her head a bit as a laugh escaped her lips. She knew that if she was to do the same thing she wouldn't quite get such an understanding reaction from him. She knew that instead he would get jealous and then angry before he would just simply walk away from the girl as he had done before. Thoughts of Cole lingered in her mind as she thought of the many days they had spent together while she was pregnant. He truly cared for her and was quite kind but yet at times she found herself thinking of Rex once more. She didn't quite understand herself wanting someone who was so awful to her the majority of the time but it was those good times together that seemed to make it all worth it. She remembered the times they would spend wrapped up in one another's arms sleeping after a long night or the night that he gave her a tattoo. She remembered squeezing his hand until it turned blue but yet he didn't say one word about it. Those were the memories that kept her there sitting next to him thinking that one day those would return.

As she took another drag of her cigarette she looked in his direction once more as she watched his eyes dart from all of the females in the room before finally meeting her gaze. "So, after we're done here we can head back to the room and continue the drinking yeah?" she said taking in a deep breathe before pushing the cigarette between her lips once more. She let the smoke fill her lungs as she closed her eyes for just a minute before letting exhaling in his direction. She wanted so badly just to drink until she felt numb and she knew that Rex had no problem giving this to her. Soon enough their waitress returned with their drinks and Sohvi didn't waste anytime grabbing her beer and taking a sip of it. She didn't quite like the taste of beer but it was alcohol and that was truly all that mattered at this point in time.

[/i][/font] rex.
WARDROBE, click.
MUSIC, infinity - the xx
NOTES, probably doesn't even make sense.
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