wasn't your intention.

[kenny karlyle.]

^{he didn't feel guilty that the thing he loved most about getting to talk to his wife, was the fact that he got to sit in an air conditioned tent. wi-fi enabled, this was a rarity for kenny. his division was in heavy arms, which meant his time over seas was the opposite of comfortable in every way. in reality, he really suffered the brute of the infantrymen experience. he'd witnessed gunfire, mortar attack, lost his best friend and really took it with a little too passive attitude- but it was what he had to do. ignore it, just for a little bit longer until he could get the okay to go home. getting the okay to log on, he quickly logged into his skype and brought up his webcam. seeing kai's name in the corner, he clicked on it and brought up the video. seeing her face there- mostly because he hadn't seen it except for in photos for almost a month- he really didn't know what to do or what to say. he could have cried but kept his face perfectly emotionless. it was late at night here- he was exhausted and she was just waking up, he just wished that he could fall asleep with her in his arms and not have to worry about the place he was in anymore. "hey baby," he said, giving her a weak smile and scratching his head. his skin itched all the fucking time- mostly because he was filthy and sweaty and sunburned and just disgusting. he'd never thought to take a shower- talking to her was way too important. "you look beautiful. just wake up?"}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>kai's dreams were always foggy, blurry. never clear pictures. one thing was for sure, she always remembered them when she woke up. she gracefully and slowly rose from the couch, where she fell asleep last night. her white mac book was open on the coffee table in front of her. she glimpsed around, confused. she always woke up confused. then her dreams came back to her. a baby, a happy family. lots of laughter. lots of smiling. a sense of security, a sense of happiness. everything she didn't have. everything she imagined having at this age. she ran a hand through her messy, brown curls, and rubbed her flat stomach. the curtains were pulled, the house was silent. just kai. no one else. an empty house. well furnished, lots of pictures on the walls in thick black frames. she was alone, in this beautiful house. alone. she sighed softly to herself, and pulled the light sheet up with her as she sat up, touching the mouse pad of her mac with her thumb. the blue skype welcome screen was there, waiting. the shrill sound of the program blasted through her laptop speakers, and kai cursed swiftly under her breath, annoyed by the loudness interrupting the silence. when she saw kenny her face brightened, and she couldn't help but smile. "yep, just got up. baby, you look exhausted."

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{"and you look incredibly sexy." he stated with a smile that exposed straight, white teeth. he felt instantly more relaxed, thought hat might not have been a good thing considering the situation he was in. kai always had that effect on him however, even since they were young. he could always count on her to turn him down in even the most heated situations. he found it a little ironic; because no one could really wind him up like she could either. "want to give me a little spin? a visual so i can sleep good tonight. you know i haven't seen you in forever." he knew that statement was more than likely, the start of a bad conversation but he was hoping that she would spare him on this occasion. she had been the one to note how completely not in the mood he was- hopefully she'd stick to her gut and just buckle it down for once. it was a bit of a broken record with them, because there was really no right topic to hear about. he didn't like to hear about his family, he didn't really like to hear about her day- and he definitely didn't want to hear about any troubles she might encounter because he was so far away. there was nothing he could do, and he'd rather just not hear about it then go crazy with wonder, struggling to remedy what he could not impact. "but yeah, it's been a long day." he didn't elaborate because he knew the drill; he couldn't reveal any information that could otherwise compromise their general location, including the events that had occurred that day. if he did the video screen would be instantly cut with no opportunity to reissue contact; he'd learned that the hard way.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>she smiled at his comment. he could always get her to smile just by smiling himself. kai genuinely loved, and missed kenny. he was her world, regardless on how choppy their marriage had been. they grew up together, so they always had a bond. the wedding ring and the festivities were just extra. they were already attached at the hip before. his next comment slightly aggravated her, hitting a nerve. she gritted her teeth tightly, and then loosened up. it was too early to be yelling right now. she had a slight headache, from being so hungry. she wasn't in the mood to beg and plead about what she would never get for a while. so she left it alone. she decided to laugh with it, so she let out a short giggle. a suppressed laugh. it had been so long since she had loosened up with kenny, laughed with him. everything was an argument lately, and there was blame to be put on both parties. "hey babe?" she suddenly remembered something she wanted to ask him. "random, i know. but i wanna get a puppy. can i? pleaseee?" she did her best cute face, with her large eyes and slightly pouted lip. she had been wanting the dog lately, someone to keep her company at home. she would treat him or her like her own child, and that was the substitute she needed.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

"a

^{she was just brilliant. this was something kenny had known the moment he met her- then again, he'd onlly been just a baby but the fact was something that had been imprinted in his mind as something he just knew, rather than something he had to learn. really, he had no place being with someone was fantastic as kai. she was beautiful, sweet- a little immature but in a way that he loved because she needed to be taken care of and he was nothing. it was relatively important to give her a good life; if not the most important thing and something always constant on his mind. however, he was always struggling with the fact that he wasn't anything smart. he could never make it through college and even if he could- he was too old now. any other job wouldn't pay nearly as well as what he was doing now- hell, they probably couldn't even survive on anything less and he was far too proud to ever accept any charity. that along with kai's insistent need to start a family were the two greatest stresses of the marriage- atleast from her point of view. kenneth was often concerned with more metaphysical aspects. "i don't know, baby-" he said shaking his head. "it's not that i don't want you to have one. we can, but do you know how to train a puppy? maybe we should just wait until i come home- i'm going to throw a fucking fit if i come home and it's chewed up all my table legs."}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]
[/font]

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>born into wealth, kai was used to getting whatever she wanted, when she wanted it. her mother was always on her side, spoiling her and giving her the benefit of the doubt. her father loved his little girl, and gave her anything she requested as fast as he could. kai's mother was very close with kenny's. they did quite a lot together, and kai was forced to be around kenny, his brother and sister. but, she had no problem with it. they all got along fine, except for the occasional fighting between kai and his sister. they were girls, and girls would be girls. but overall, the four kids had a great bond. kai was always a bit closer to kenny, for reasons unknown. they didn't have so much in common, to say. but she always liked him, first as a friend. when kai got married to kenny, things started changing. it wasn't always what she wanted, his opinion mattered too, and he had a strong say in what happened in their relationship and home. she couldn't fully furnish the house, kenny would have to approve or disapprove. he wasn't controlling, but if he didn't like what was placed in his house, he made it evident. and kai would just have to get used to that. and she did, sort of. she did throw a fit for some things still. like the puppy. it was more than just an animal. did he not realize she was alone at night? alone twenty four seven? how many sleepovers could she have? how much time could she spend at her parents house with them busting into another lecture about grandchildren? not many. she was alone, and she had to stay alone. having the little companion would change so much. "pleaseeeeee? kenny, please. i need this dog. i'm lonely, and it would be with me. it's just what i need, baby. please?" she pleaded shamelessly, determined to get the dog.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{frankly, a lot of new age women wouldn't have put up with the way kenny regarded his marriage. his parents after all, had raised him on traditional values- and those were the same values that he made sure were evident in his relationship. kai was used to being taken care of- and he did take care of her, but one thing she wasn't used to hearing was no. he'd be lying if there were times when he said no to her just because he could- to teach her a lesson, to try and make her a better person, to show her some character- something. still there were many people that did consider him a more controlling individual; it was just his personality. he was direct; he said what he felt and what he meant. when he spoke, he expected people to listen because it would most likely be poignant. he was notoriously protective over kai and he did consider her his property- she was his wife and she would do what he said- just as he would do what she said. as long as he agreed with it to begin with. he was lucky; he knew he was- but there were things about kai that he honestly could not fucking stand. things that caused him to want to bang his head against the wall time and time again- she was dramatic, petty, vapid- she was materialistic, but he loved her because she'd always loved him even though he wasn't all those things. even though really, he had not many likable qualities about him at all. "what about a cat?" he asked a little more hopefully. he wouldn't deny her a dog because he had no reason to- they could certainly afford it and he knew she deserved the protection and the companionship. he just wished that it was a little more easy for her to realize that maybe he was suffering a little bit too- but he was willing to go through it for the both of them.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>kai hated the word compromise. she hated doing it, she hated the concept of it. why should she have to put a halt to her wants and needs? why should life have to be what people considered 'fair'? yes, kai believed that everyone should be treated equally, but she wanted what she wanted. no was not in her vocabulary, and she never wanted it to be. ever since she got married to kenny, kai started compromising a lot more. obviously, the distance was a huge compromise for her. the wanting for a family was a huge compromise. almost everything about their relationship was a compromise. but surprisingly, she was okay with that. why? kai herself didn't know. she found herself questioning it daily. but it was simply because she loved kenny. regardless of what fight, what argument, what disagreement. she loved him. the relationship was healthy for her. it was good that kenny didn't spoil kai, even more than she already was. she was learning slowly to adjust to a normal lifestyle, yet she didn't know it. she was accepting compromise and the word no little by little, without realizing what was going on. because she had no choice to do this. but this time, kai refused to compromise. she hated cats, the hair everywhere, the meowing. she'd prefer a dog, large or small it didn't matter. she always liked dogs, but growing up her mother never approved of one. that was one thing kai never got. her mother was disgusted by the idea of having an animal in the house, and refused. she was stern on that, and made kai forget about it by buying her some new shoes, a new purse, every time she mentioned it. "you know how i feel about cats, why would you even suggest that? just say yes to the dog, please. how much more do i have to beg?" she rolled her eyes and sat back on the couch.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{he was trying his hardest not to roll his eyes. that pouty look on her face- that was just another thing, one of many that he could not stand about kai. "don't give me that shit." he said bluntly, not allowing her any more room for argument. it was either his option or no option- and usually his option was more than fair. "how about this?" he asked her, because honestly- just about everything with kenny did have to be a compromise, even if his wife wasn't always directly aware of what she was giving up. "show me your boobs and you can have the dog. i promise, just a litte peak!" he didn't blush; after all these years he was more than comfortable about kai although that might not always have been the case. the thing with her was- she didn't want life to be fair, but she didn't really want life to be unfair either. she just wanted the cards to play in her favor every time, and honestly- kenny was constantly surprised with just how well things had really gone for her. even he- who had lived his entire life not five miles away from her- grew up around generally the same time and had many of the same experiences- well, when you compared the two of their lives together side by side, it was pretty clear who won the pity award at the end of the day, not that it ws an award he even wanted. "i promise no one's looking!" he said with a mischievous smile although that was the most clear lie he'd ever told. certainly he had some amount of privacy in the room but there was someone indirectly monitoring the conversation at any moment.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>she rolled her eyes again. it was just like kenny to ask something like that. she knew him, he was half fooling around, half serious. she knew a part of him did want to see her exposed body, it had been so long. kai was almost certain that kenny had been sexually active, how? she had no idea. but she knew it, deep down inside. she however, had been celibate since the last time she was with him. she loved him, and didn't believe in cheating. she did it way too much in high school, all she wanted was real love. and real love didn't involve infidelity. kai smiled slowly, and began raising up her shirt from the bottom to pull it over her head. she wanted the puppy, but she wasn't stupid. she could only imagine the look of excitement on kenny's face, when she dropped her shirt back down to her hips and gave him a look of disgust. "can you just approve my puppy, baby? i won't bother you about kids for a while if i get this puppy, please?" kai certainly didn't want a cat, she wanted a dog. it seemed like a little thing, but it was a huge thing in her eyes. it had a lot more meaning than just, 'a pet'. she was lonely, and the animal would keep her company. she had seen several, countless, shows where pets were treated like children. she craved for a child, or atleast something to call her own. she could dress up the little thing, even buy it a bed. it was just what she needed to hold her off on starting a family for a little bit longer. now kenny just needed to say yes, and make her happy, for the first time in along time.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{he almost shit his pants. he'd spend atleast of their conversation time together doing two things; begging for sex and arguing. this shouldn't have been so unusual- in reality it was what he did when they were living under the same roof anyways, but kai was never really into the entire phone thing and he couldn't blame her- but he could blame her for not really being into anything else either. his heartbeat flickered and skipped a beat at the sight of a square of very pale, soft exposed skin just over her hip bone. "yess!" he exclaimed quickly, scooting up in his chair so he could press his eyes as close to the screen as humanly possible so he could burn the image into his mind. "baby- you're so fucking beautiful, i love you-" but all of a sudden he was set into a round of fury when he'd discovered she'd only been teasing. so much so that he really didn't say anything for a few moments but close his eyes and shake his head. there were really not enough ways to describe just how heartless that was to him in that moment. he could feel the anger boiling inside of his chest, though his exterior was deathly calm. at the end of the day, kenneth was a diehard introvert and addressed things as such- he had a raging temper but bottled it for as long as possible. besides, it would have been easy for him to throw his chair across the room. it wouldn't have been easy to explain the broken computer monitors to his superior officers. the silence wasn't awkward but it was lingering in the air. he didn't even bother looking at her when he dismissed a hand into the air. "whatever. do what you want."}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>hopeless. kai sighed. there was no way kenneth loved her. she questioned it everyday. every minute, of everyday. that one question was always on her mind. but she continued to give him the benefit of the doubt, because she knew she loved him. she kept on telling herself that everything would be better when he got home, that all the fighting would dissolve, it would be the fairy tale she dreamed of every night. did she know that reality was different from her dreams? that not everything would work out the way she planned and imagined it? nope. she was naive, vulnerable. she believed what she saw in her head was true. she yearned for comfort, for love. she made up endless excuses to herself, why she wasn't getting that. he was away, he was busy, he was stressed, he was working. that in due time, it was all go back to 'normal'. she looked to the large window to the left of her, at the calm, light brown curtains. why did she put up with this? could one crave love so much? she never bothered to ask kenny if he loved her anymore, she knew the answer. she picked up her phone, and texted her father that the puppy was a go, to send a car around to take her to whatever she would purchase the dog. she said nothing to kenny, just folded her hands together, and rested them on her knees, as she looked down, not bothering to even look at the webcam anymore.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{thinking back he had never foreseen their relationship heading in this direction, but that wasn't to say that others were as pleasantly aloof. in fact, kenny had gotten a lot of grief when he married kai. in a sense, they were a forbidden relationship. his brother and sister told him to wait, to put the wedding on hold- his mother had just died and he was surely not in his right mind. kai's father had been particularly disgruntled and kenny didn't blame him. she'd been coddled he entire life- it was almost insane that she would give all that up for kenny, a man who could only ever give her the mediocre out of life. this fact was most mind blowing of all- he often wondered if kai loved him for him or because he was the only one around to love. he coughed into the air, a callus break to the silence. in truth, kenny was really suffering. he didn't even feel like himself anymore- not the person he'd once known. he constantly battled with wondering if he was a hazard to his squadron. he knew he was a hazard to himself. he should had never married kai. he'd known she wasn't cut out to support him through the life he wanted from the beginning- just as he wasn't cut out to support her. but still- he'd wanted her. he'd loved her and there was a big part of him that even needed her- but most of all he just needed her to be a different person than she was and that was something that was impossible and improbable. he really didn't know what the fuck to do. outside, an alarm sounded and he jumped into the air immediately to run to the door to see what was going on. there was a relative amount of calm and he knew if there was a real problem, they would have cut communication, but this gave him a sort of reality check. when he came back to the computer he didn't sit down. he stuck his face in front of the screen his voice full of fury, not intended to stay long. "you need to start being a better fucking wife. what if that was the last conversation we ever had? what if i died right that minute- would you even care?"}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[ava]

<sup>kai jumped at the sudden sound, and looked up at the screen. she was used to this, but still got scared every time it happened. when kenny came back to the screen, she sighed in relief. what he said made her angry, yet sad. she wanted to support him. she wanted to be a better wife. she just didn't know how. she tried to send him love, but he constantly pushed it away. he never had time for that, he claimed. he was working. it was like he had no time for anything recreational anymore. their conversations were templates, laid out, boring. through all of the hardships, kai refused to let go of their marriage. kenny gave her something indescribable, or maybe she was just desperate for affection. "don't act like you're the perfect husband either," she said to him cutting her eyes. then she lightened up a bit, and sighed. her face went back to that innocent, eighteen year old girl. standing by the alter, white gown, hair up. huge smile plastered on her face. she remembered that day like it was yesterday. "i'm sorry," she said softly. she tried to hold back tears, because she was an over dramatic, over emotional wreck almost always. she hated crying in front of people, because they always threw it back in her face, including her husband himself. "i'm sorry, i'm trying." she repeated again, looking to the side, her eyes watery.

tagged, kenny
wearing, black tank top, black shorts.
notes, this took forever >.<</sup>

[kenny karlyle.]

^{kenny certainly didn't consider himself the perfect husband. in fact, he had never even considered himself the marrying type- but he was a god fearing man and did believe that if two people loved each other they should be in a union anointed by god, and it was for this reason he asked kai to marry her. also because he was desperate for something to cling to- and also, because he didn't want to loose her when he went away. however, kenny never claimed to be a good husband. he'd never promised kai anything he couldn't give her. in fact, just about the only thing he had promised her was that he would always love her- and he always would. he supposed, in the grand scheme of things, he wasn't even a mediocre husband, but kai could literally not comprehend how much that fact irked at him. probably one of the biggest stresses of their relationship and one kai remained ignorant of, was how pressured kenny honestly did feel to live up to her standards. he'd never been a good son, now he'd failed at husbandry too. "what. do. you. want. me. to. do." he said very deadly, but very genuinely. he didn't want her fantasy tale answer- he wanted a reasonable plan he could work with. it was to the point now- ken couldn't even leave if he wanted to. he was contractually obligated to serve his county. he didn't bother to admit he was also contractually obligated to serve his wife as well. "it doesn't even matter- just- i can't do fucking anything. anything." he stated again, just to reaffirm. he knew he brought a lot of trouble on himself; he'd numbed kai to a lot of what he experienced because she didn't need to know- but now it was getting to the point that her blatant lack of understanding was destroying them. he saw her tears but he ignored them because he was used to them. he really didn't have time to get emotional about this entire thing but sometimes it was difficult to constantly bite your tongue.}

[/color][/font][/i][/size] ava
wardrobe,[/i][/size] irrelevant.
music,[/i][/size] ehh nothing good.
notes,[/i][/size] blahh melissa fomat yeah! [/ul]
[/sup][/blockquote][/blockquote]