Post by freya soloman on Oct 28, 2011 20:49:28 GMT -5
[/i]ciara, bar r, student
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[/sub][/font]------I'm writing these plans down as my wish list. I know 75% of it won't happen, but I want to prepare for the positive.. and I refuse to sink. In a year from now I'll have graduated, but I don't want to go into work. I'll travel, somewhere between graduating and deciding where I want to go, I imagine my mom will throw a fit. So I'll plan to give her the finger and tell her to suck it some where in there. I'd like to go to each continent, but I'll start with Europe and end with Africa. I want to discover myself, what makes me me. I want to collect china, and put sand in bags. I want to volunteer in Kenya, I want to sleep in a haunted house, I want to camp in the rainforest, ride an elephant.. ride a camel. I want to live without technology, hitchhick across Australia. I want, I want, I want.
When I was thirteen I imagined myself married at twenty-six, having kids at twenty-eight. Now I can't think of anything more depressing than surrendering my twenties to that of family. I'll just spend it traveling, meeting different people, having different boyfriends.. I'll get them to teach me languages. Thirty, that's when I'll come home. By then I'll know what I want to do, so I'll do it and make money. Then I'll get married, or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just adopt. Either way I'll buy a house, in the country. With a ton of land, and loads of trees, apple trees, birch trees, wheeping willow trees. A log house would be nice, with a brick kitchen. It'll be like an inside out house. My coathangers will be antlers, the fireplace would be huge, there would be a balcony. Five bedrooms, just in case we need the extra room. I'll have a big dog, some barn cats, maybe a pony in the yard.. and at Christmas it'll be stunning.
I don't think much will happen when I'm forty. Maybe a promotion or two in whatever career I've taken up. I want money, but I don't dream of it. I dream of something much greater. I'd like to be comfortable, have my bills paid. I'll take a vacation every summer, bask in the sun.. or maybe go skiing in wintertime instead. I want to experience everything.
At fifty my kids.. biological or adopted, they'll be going off to college. An education which I'll pay for, though I won't force them to go. I'll raise them naturally, let them grow out without my forcing. The house will get lonely if I'm not married, or even if I am, it'll be more empty than it was before. This is where the extra rooms will come in handy. A bed in breakfast, with interesting people coming in and out. That'd be fun.
Sixty, I'll retire. My kids will have moved out, maybe have families of their own. I won't sell the house, but I'll take up gardening.. or something else old people do, knitting maybe. I'll drink a lot of tea, and buy my grandkids tons of shit.
Seventy, I'll get rid of all the mirrors in my house. Write my will.. leave some money to kids, the house to one kid.. the one I can trust not to sell it. Some money to charity.
Eighty.. I'll just continue gardening, go out to a lot of movies, shows, become an opera singer. I want to get over my fear of living, cut all my ties, break free from what my life is.. or become content. Discover myself, not sink, make my dreams into reality. I want to meet different people, keep a log of all the people that come in and out of my life, write down their point of view. Do what I love, love who I love, create something different. Invent, write, paint, cook, sing, laugh, scream, clap.